You can have more than one tribe!

We have all heard the saying, “your vibe attracts your tribe”, but what does that even MEAN? Does it mean that there is only one group of people out there that can “get you” and understand you? Nope, I am finding that your “tribe” can change, evolve, and you can have more than one!

I believe that we NEED multiple tribes to be a part of and that they will change as we grow both in our personal and professional lives. I would like to think of it more as different communities that you are a part of and that are a support system for an area in your life. Imagine having a community to go to that supports you in your professional life, one that supports you in your home/momma life, and one that is just for you in your journey of being a woman in the crazy world. Personally I have 4 communities of women and men that I know I can reach out to when I am having a tough day, when I have something to celebrate, or when I have questions.

My Supportive Communities

Who should be in your community?

Professional Community: I have two professional communities because I have two businesses that I am building and while these is some crossover of people, I have two groups that I find super supportive. I have changed professions and the community I had in my prior career no longer serves me in a positive way, so I had to leave. And that’s ok! If you are no longer finding benefits to a community, if it gives you any negativity or is draining, you best leave it.
I strongly suggest finding people in your profession that you admire, trust, and who is are positive people. Finding people who are successful in your profession and that you can learn from when you are starting will be powerful for you. Then when you are a huge success, you can be the one to help others!
I love leaning on and learning from other female business owners. The women from Hometown Poke, Gingersnaps Bakery, Designed by Delsie, and so many others provide not only support, but insight into the world of a female business owner. Finding strong women who do their thing and do it well are a huge inspiration!
Every profession is different with its own unique challenges and that is why it is important to find a supportive community within your profession. I am forever thankful I found The Rising Tide Society a few years into starting my makeup business. The camaraderie we have as creatives, the understanding, and the support is helpful and appreciated. These are the people that will push you forward even when you start to doubt yourself.

Rising Tide Community

Momma Community: Being married and having children is exhausting. There are so many different ways to raise our children and you are not going to vibe with every mom. The key is to find moms that have the same or at least similar mommy-ing style as you. This doesn’t mean that you lose friendships because people have different ideas and styles than you, but it does mean that when you need to bounce an idea off of someone, or you are struggling, you are calling your community.
The reason its important to find moms with the same style is that sometimes with the best intentions, moms can make other moms feel bad. We don’t do it on purpose, I know we are all just trying to navigate raising our babies the best way we know how. I found that when I found a group that did things similar to the ways I did, that we understood each other better and could offer more relative advice and guidance.
This group of book club mommas are some of the nicest women I know. We love reading and decided that meeting up once a month and discussing books we read was important and a great way for us all to get a little fun time in.

Personal Community: Girl, this community is JUST for YOU! This is the group of ladies you can call on when you having a bad day. This is the group that you call when you are ready to go out on the town. This is the group you call when you need to go get a pedicure or need a day away from everything.
This community may have some over lapping members from your other communities. This is the fun, adventurous, calming, crazy, whatever you may need community. This may be the most important community to have because it is your saving grace if everything is falling apart and it is the people who will celebrate you when you have success!

Finding your community

Sometimes it is a trial and error process to find the right people that will build you up, cheer you on, support you, and be there to lean on when times get rough. I promise you they are out there, but you need to make sure that you are attracting the right people to you. You gotta check yourself:

Are you being positive?
Do you have an attitude of gratitude?
Are you able to be happy for another person’s success?
Do you know how amazing you are?
Did you give yourself credit for being you and showing up and doing your best?

Once you find your communities make sure you are giving and are a supportive member. Remember that you do not need to have just one community that you belong to since we are multi-faceted people we can diversify and belong to a variety of communities. Your vibe is going to attract your tribe, so be in a positive state of mind as you embark on this journey and find those communities that are best suited for you.

Beauty and Confidence Tribe

Love your body as it is fully and completely. Boudoirs by Mallory and I have put our vision and mission to help all women feel beautiful and confident into action. Beauty has so many facets and we think the most beautiful thing is confidence and loving yourself. These gorgeous women support us in our mission to help every woman feel confident and beautiful in her own skin. 💜 ⠀

No beauty shines brighter than that of a good heart. Her heart is so big. She cares so deeply about others and helping people find joy.

Her smile is everything!

Cancer sucks, but her attitude does not! Scars are left to prove how strong she is. She is showing others how to live life to the fullest and not letting anything stop her.

This momma is beautiful and confident!
Beauty and confidence
Beauty is grace and confidence

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. – Audrey Hepburn

Her eyes are stunning, as are her tattoos!

Beauty is when you can appreciate yourself.
Beauty is ageless

Being confident is beautiful. Every woman has so many talents and beauty to share with the world and there should be nothing to stop her.

Ladies, we are our own worst critiques and it needs to stop! You are beautiful😍 Every size, every color, every race, every age, each and every one of you reading this are BEAUTIFUL! ⠀

Embrace the body you have! Love your curves, your smile, your muscles, your height, your bust size, your hips, your butt; love each part of you! Girl, your smile and strength can change the world💪 ⠀

Partners!

Boudoirs by Mallory and I are so proud to have started this Beauty and Confidence Tribe.

Each woman who does a boudoir session with us is going to become a part of our strong tribe of amazing women. We will encourage and empower each other. We all have an excuse to not have our photos taken and we are here to tell you to stop listening to the excuse. You are gorgeous exactly as you are in this moment in your life. So come let me enhance your beauty. You will feel beautiful and confident as you step in front of Mallory’s camera for your photoshoot. http://Www.boudoirsbymallory.com

To Use or Not Use the Bathroom Selfie

Raise your hand if you have ever been in the bathroom and thought, “Damn, I am looking good!” If you didn’t raise your hand I am call BS because we have all been there. Sometimes we even take out our phone, pose perfectly and snap a selfie that makes us feel beautiful and post it!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with posting a bathroom selfie. If you are feeling beautiful, you should post that picture, but it should NOT be your headshot for your business. Let’s talk about headshots!

Headshots can serve a multitude of purposes. This is your FIRST impression to a client. The first time they may see your face and they are going to judge you. Yes, I know we do not want to think about that, but it is true.

We all do it. We make a snap judgement based on someone’s image. It could be their headshot, cover photo, or instagram feed. We are very visual people that therefore you should consider hiring some professionals to ensure you get the BEST picture!

How to ensure you have the BEST headshot!

Hire a photographer! Not your cousin’s best friend who just bought a fancy camera. Hire a professional who has taken headshots and can show you her/his work. A photographer will be able to help with proper posing, lighting, and ensure that your photos are fabulous and on brand.

Hire a makeup artist and hair stylist! Your makeup needs to help enhance your natural look. The camera and lighting can wash you out and a professional will know how to ensure you are looking your absolute best when you are having your portrait done. Plus, when you have your makeup and hair done you may feel more confident and that confidence will show in the photos and that is a win for you! Being a confident business owner and looking like one is going to help build your clientele and ensure you are attracting your ideal client.

Consult with a stylist. Your wardrobe for a shoot is important. You want to choose items that show your personality and professionalism. Stylist will be able to help in this regard and if you are going to work with one, I suggest scheduling that session a week prior to shoot in case you need to pick up any items.

Choose the proper location(s) and times. This will differ depending on what you do for business. I always suggest having natural light in your setting. Night time (unless you are showcasing night time activities and even then some photos in the day are valuable) is not the time to have your photos taken. I suggest taking photos inside and outside to ensure you have plenty of options. Mornings and sunset will provide the best lighting outdoors. If you are having photos taken in your space, take time to see when your space is filled with light and when it is darker. This will help you decide when the photographer should come.

Have fun! Do not stress about how you are smiling or worry about the perfect shot. If you have hired professionals you will get it! Enjoy yourself and your happiness and confidence will show up in your photos.

Final Thoughts

I hope you found this helpful. If you need help finding a photographer in your area to take your headshots or branding photos, reach out and I will gladly recommend ones that I have worked with and who are amazing.

As a makeup artist I can assist you to ensure you look your absolute best. I love enhancing your beauty so you feel like the fierce boss babe that you are! I can also style your hair for you to ensure a flawless look.

Yes, your bathroom selfie is cute, yes you rocked that outfit, but it has no place as your professional headshot.

You said YES… now what?

Photograph by Jamal & Lashana Photography

Congratulations on saying yes and I am sure your ring is amazingly beautiful. Now comes all the fun (and at times stressful part) … planning your wedding. Lucky for you I have created a timeline to help you so you are not trying to do it all the first week of getting engaged!

Let’s focus on setting a date first and to do so if you do not already have one in mind is to determine what time of year you want to get married. If you are budget conscious and you live in an area that has seasons, like me in the northeast, choosing an off-season date is the way to go. If that is not a concern, then choose any time. I strongly suggest May, June, or Sept for outdoor weddings. This way your guests are not sweating too badly while enjoying your day.

Now that you have picked a date it’s time to choose your vendors. Some vendors will require you to book them further in advance than others. I made a timeline based on the average time needed before your wedding to choose them. If you book them earlier that’s ok too, but I wouldn’t wait much longer than I suggest to ensure you get who you want!

Let’s talk venue. Choosing the correct venue is important. You want a space large enough for there to be room to eat and dancing, but not so large that it feels empty with your number of guests. Before you start looking for a venue, have an idea about how many guests you will have and the type of wedding you want…. rustic, modern, formal, casual, outdoor/indoor?

Now it is time to start looking to hire vendors. These are the wonderful people you will have ensuring your wedding day is perfection! It is important to plan out your budget prior to starting you search. You need to determine what you are willing to spend for each service…. There is that saying “you get what you pay for” so if you are sticking to a strict budget, you need to make sure you know what you are going to spend.

Now that you have a budget planned out, its time to start searching! Find your photographer and wedding planner (if you are hiring one) first. Photographers book up 1-2 years ahead of time. Take time to look at the types of photos they take and ensure they are what you are looking for. Each photographer has a style and you want it to jive with you, otherwise you may not have the best experience. Take the time to sit with them before signing contracts and make sure everything you want and need is available to you from them and listen to the ideas they have too. They have seen more weddings than you and are full of knowledge and ideas that you are going to want to know about!

Videographers are next on the list. If your photographer does not do video, ask who they have liked working with and/or who they would recommend. The venue may also have a few in mind for you. You want to make sure they can work cohesively! Watch videos from different videographers to get an idea what you would like in yours and the different styles they have.

Each time you are ready to search for another person who want to provide a service for you, take the time to check out their work. Make sure it looks like what you envision for your wedding. Be sure schedule time for a makeup and hair trial. You do NOT want to just wing it and be unhappy with the results. I had a bride come to me who was on her third hair and makeup trial because no one was listening to her. I listened and she booked me after seeing how her vision came to light.

If you are looking for a short engagement, use this list to ensure you are booking the vendors you need and want first. I created it based on how quickly they will get booked up to the services most people wait to book until it gets closer because you cannot do it all on the same day.

Enjoy this time! Your wedding day is a wonderful day filled with love, family, and friends. It will all come together. Take time to breathe, relax, get a couple massage and enjoy the planning process. You only get married once (well, hopefully 😉 ) and it should be an enjoyable experience you and your fiance do together.

Download this timeline to help you!

It’s in the details!

I love walking into a reception room and seeing the tables, the flowers, the seating charts, etc. The tiny little details give the personal touch. It is what makes a wedding unique, it gives you a certain vibe and lets you know more about the couple and the love they have for each other. Oh the details are so important!

Here are some gorgeous details from a beach theme Newport Wedding Shoot. Location was Queen Anne’s Loft, a beautiful venue that is one the second floor and has with large windows to allow you views of the ocean and the city.

Table Setting Perfection

Setting the table with the wedding theme directing you allows every person taking part of the special day really feel your vision. This table setting is perfect.

The florals are gorgeous, a great height and are soft colors. The rope runner has beautiful knots and brings in the beach theme. The glasses tinted green and blue make you think of the ocean. Then there are the pieces of sea glass with beautiful calligraphy as the place cards. I mean, can it get more perfect than that?!

Guests will feel important with the attention to detail you have given to make their place look beautiful.

Your wedding theme starts with the invitation you choose to send your guests. Gorgeous invites that clearly shows the beach theme, the beautiful colors, and the writing will all follow through to the wedding day details.

When there is a custom sign to greet guests when they enter it becomes a photo op and gives guests an idea of the vibe your reception will have!

Gorgeous!

Every detail is perfection. Her dress, jewelry, hair, makeup, flowers, and decor all give beautiful, romantic, spring, beach vibes.

This cake is stunning. The colors and details incorporate the beach theme beautifully. I love that it was not a huge cake, but tall enough to beg everyone to come take a look before it was cut.

Finding a baker that not only bakes a delicious cake, but that is also beautiful can be tricky. Add to that a need to be gluten free and you could be in trouble. Be sure to take the time to find your ideal baker and do tastings to ensure you are happy with the result. After all, no one wants pictures of the bride and groom not liking the taste of their cake.

This wedding was elegant, romantic, and simply stunning. Every last detail was thought of and taken care of. Working with event planners can help you find the perfect wedding vendors to work with and it can ensure a flawless theme. As a woman, former bride, and makeup artist I appreciate all the work that goes into creating your perfect wedding. Start to finish there are endless details that cannot be overlooked. If you liked the personal touches and details from this wedding here is the list of wonderful people who made it all possible! If you contact any of them, be sure to tell them Jess sent you 🙂